ANXIETY DISORDERS: IN SEARCH OF SELF

Over the years we built the image of who we thought we should be. We lived our lives with an uneasy feeling that we were not who we appeared to be. If we were not who we appeared to be, then who were we? We didn’t know. We were never able to answer the question.

The anxiety and/or the attacks blasted into our lives. They pushed past our control and steamrolled our defences. The image we had of ourselves crumbled with the weight of its own illusion. The disintegration of ourselves continued and our seemingly solid foundations of our self and our life were torn down.

Suddenly we were thrown back onto ourselves and we had nothing left as an identity. Our sense of inadequacy, our lack of confidence and lack of self-esteem became predominant. We felt helpless and isolated. Our need to be in control was the only defence we had left. We tightened our grip on it because we felt that total annihilation of ourselves was only an attack away.

We became separated from our real selves through a lifetime of suppression and, when we needed it most, we felt that we had nothing to give us strength or support. Our sense of helplessness and isolation increased dramatically. These feelings of helplessness and isolation are a measure of the degree to which we are separate from our self. It is the ultimate separation anxiety.

All of us search for external answers to our difficulties, but we don’t realise we are looking in the wrong direction. Although we may find temporary measures to sustain us, we don’t recognise or feel the enormous potential of our self which is waiting to assist us.

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